"I'm sorry" : apologize in French on different situations

Podcast of article content in French

Introduction

There are different ways of apologizing in French, simple ways and more detailed ways.

There are 2 main kinds of apology: The apology for something benign, often something we didn't do on purpose. And the excuse for something more serious. It could be a serious mistake we made inadvertently. Or a mistake we made more or less voluntarily. In each case, we can use a simple way of apologizing. Or we can detail our apology.

Apologizing in French in everyday situations

Apologizing in French in everyday situations

When we do something without doing it on purpose.

Example :

You enter a subway train and slightly bump into someone near the door.
You sit down in a bus seat and slightly bump into the person sitting next to you.
You're in line at the bakery and realize that you've accidentally passed a customer who was already waiting.

In these cases, you can say:

「Excusez-moi」

「Oh pardon.」

「Je suis désolé(e).」

There's no real difference in meaning between the 3 expressions. But there can be a subtle difference in nuance depending on the situation and tone.

「Excusez-moi」is standard.
「Oh pardon」is more spontaneous.
「Je suis désolé(e)」is fairly neutral.

Now listen to the 2 ways each of the 3 expressions are pronounced.

「Excusez-moi」

「Oh pardon」

「Je suis désolé(e)」

You've certainly noticed a clear difference in intonation between the first and second ways of saying. The second sounds much more sincere.

So, more than the expression, it's the tone that makes more or less of an impression.

Expressing a polite request in French

Although this is much less systematic than in Japanese, in French too we sometimes add an expression equivalent to the 「Sumimasen (I' am sorry)」when we formulate a request politely.

For example, You ask a stranger for directions on the street:

「Excusez-moi, vous savez où est 〇〇 ?」
「Excuse me, do you know where 〇〇 ?」 is?

You're at the bakery and you ask the sales clerk to put your baguette in a bag.

(In Japan, putting the bread in a bag was systematic until they asked for extra money for the bag as an ecological measure, but this wasn't the case in France.)

「Excusez-moi. Vous pouvez mettre la baguette dans un sac s’il vous plaît ?」
「Excuse me. Could you please put the baguette in a bag? 」

If you want to know how to say "Thank you" in French,click here..

Apologizing in French at work

For something you're not directly responsible for

At work, a mistake can have consequences for your company and your colleagues, even if it's not directly your fault. So you take care of the excuses a bit.

Example :

Let's look at some examples.

「Désolé pour le retard. il y a eu un problème avec les transports.」
「Sorry for the delay. there was a problem with the transport.」

If you want to make a stronger apology, you can say:

「Je suis vraiment désolé pour le retard.」
「I'm really sorry for the delay.」

There was a computer malfunction. You were unable to read or send an important email.

「Je suis désolé. Suite au problème informatique, je n’ai pas pu envoyer / lire le mail.」
「I'm sorry. Due to the computer problem, I was unable to send / read the email.」

「Pardon pour le retard de mon mail. Il y a eu un problème informatique.」
「Sorry for the delay of my mail. There was a computer problem.」

When you make a mistake

If you make a mistake at work,
Even if it is not on purpose,
I take responsibility and apologize.

For example,

When you forget to look for important information in advance for a meeting.

「Je suis vraiment désolé pour ça. J’ai complètement oublié.」
I am really sorry. I completely forgot.

「Je vous prie / je te prie de m’excuser pour ça. J’ai complètement oublié.」
I am really sorry. I completely forgot.

When you erase data by mistake.

「Bon, j’ai fait une grosse bêtise. J’ai effacé par erreur les données. je suis vraiment désolé.」
「I made a big mistake. I erased all the data. I am very sorry.」

If you want to show that you are willing to make up for the mistake, you can say :

「Si je peux faire quelque chose…」
「I will do whatever I can to help.」

Apologizing in French in exceptional situations

Apologize in French after making a mistake

For a serious work-related offense

We saw in the previous section how to apologize for a work error. Now we'll look at how to apologize for a serious mistake.

This is the difference in French between 「une erreur」 and 「une faute」. A mistake is unintentional. A work fault is made voluntarily or at least consciously.

For example, you consciously did otherwise than as instructed by your superior and caused a malfunction.

「Je présente mes excuses à l’entreprise / à l’équipe pour n’avoir pas suivi les recommandations de mon supérieur et avoir  provoqué un dysfonctionnement.」
「I apologize to the company/team for not following my superior's recommendations and causing a malfunction.」

「Je présente mes excuses」marks a formal side in the apology and can be used in writing in a formal letter as well.

When you've made a mistake in Daily life

We've already seen a more formal way of apologizing to someone.

Let's take a brief look at how to apologize if you've made a mistake in everyday life.

For example,

You've forgotten an important appointment with a service provider. You're the customer, but you may have cost the person a day.

「Je voudrais vraiment m’excuser pour avoir oublié le rendez-vous. J’espère que ça ne vous a pas trop impacté.」
「I'd really like to apologize for forgetting the appointment. I hope it didn't impact you too much.」

Apologize in French by telling the reason

To show you're really sorry, it's good to say what you're apologizing for.

We've seen this structure many times before:

Je te présente mes excuses
Je vous présente mes excuses
Je voudrais m’excuser
Je voudrais vraiment m’excuser

• pour + avoir + participe passé

Example :

「Je voudrais m’excuser pour avoir fait une mauvaise manipulation.」
「I would like to apologize for making a wrong move.」

「Je te présente mes excuses pour n’avoir pas fait le rapport.」
「I would like to apologize for not making the report.」

As with the passé composé, être is used with verbs of movement:

aller (to go)
venir (to come)
partir (to leave)
arriver (to arrive)
monter (to go up)
descendre (to go down)
passer (to go through)
sortir (to go out)
tomber (to fall)
retourner (to return)
rentrer (to go inside, to come back)

Example :

「Je voudrais m’excuser d’être arrivé en retard.」
「I would like to apologize for arriving late.」

「Je voudrais m’excuser de n’être pas venu à la soirée.」
「I would like to apologize for not coming to the party.」

Apologizing in French in a couple's conflict

After having harsh words in an argument

I hope for your sake that you won't have to use this kind of excuse much. But if you're in a mixed couple with a French-speaking person, it might come in handy.

Let's say you've had an argument with your partner.

You want to apologize for your harsh words.

「Je suis vraiment désolé de t’avoir dit 〇〇.」
「Je te demande pardon pour t’avoir dit 〇〇.」
「I'm really sorry for telling you 〇〇.」 「I beg your pardon for telling you 〇〇.」

If you have an advanced intermediate level, you can use a variant. But in this case, watch out for tense concordance.

「Je suis vraiment désolé de t’avoir dit que je ne voulais plus te voir.」
「I'm really sorry I told you I didn't want to see you anymore.」

「Je te demande pardon pour t’avoir dit que tu avais trop de défauts.」
「I beg your forgiveness for telling you that you had too many faults.」

After committing a fault

If you've made a mistake and want to apologize to your partner, you can add this expression to what we saw in the previous section:

「J’aurais dû / je n’aurais pas dû + verbe infinitif　不定詞」

Example :

「J’aurais dû penser à t’appeler.」
「I should have thought to call you.」

「Je n’aurais pas dû faire ça.」
「I shouldn't have done that.」

Let's look at some apologies with explanations from the person asking for forgiveness.

「Je suis vraiment désolé d’avoir oublié ta date d’anniversaire. J’aurais dû y penser et te faire un cadeau. J’aurais dû t’inviter dans un restaurant. 」
「I'm really sorry I forgot your birthday. I should have thought of it and made you a present. I should have invited you to a restaurant. 」

「Je te demande pardon d’être parti en voyage sans toi. J’aurais du te proposer de venir avec moi.」
「I beg your forgiveness for going on a trip without you. I should have asked you to come with me.」

「Je te demande vraiment pardon de t’avoir dit que je ne rentrerais pas tard ce soir et d’être finalement rentré à 1h du matin. J’aurais dû t’appeler pour te prévenir. Je n’aurais pas dû aller au bar si tard avec mes amis. 」
「I truly beg your forgiveness for telling you I wouldn't be home late tonight and finally getting home at 1am. I should have called to warn you. I shouldn't have gone to the bar so late with my friends. 」

Finally, if you want to check that your spouse has forgiven you, you can add :

「Tu me pardonnes ?」
「Do you forgive me?」

But only if he/she doesn't seem to resent you too much. Otherwise, it could have the opposite effect. And that, I imagine, is the case in every language.

To conclude

Apologizing is a delicate exercise, no matter what country you're in. For a simple apology related to something benign, it's easy.

But at work, for specific situations or in private life, it's more subtle. Depending on the words and tone you choose, the effect can be very different from what you intended.

If one day you need to apologize and you don't quite master the phrases we've seen in this article, that's okay. The most important thing is to make the other person feel that you mean it.

フランス語の「すみません」と「ごめんなさい」を詳しく知りたい方は、こちらへ。